A Mother's Child
by in-prose
Summary: Based on the title, I bet you can guess where this fic is going. Basically, Ashley growing up through Helen's eyes. Updated November 9th, 2010.
1. Part 1

Title: A Mother's Child  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: All Episodes are fair game  
Summary: Based on the title, I bet you can guess where this fic is going. Basically, Ashley growing up through Helen's eyes.  
Author's Notes: There are a bunch of these parts that I am working on. If you like this one let me know, and I'll working faster on the other. But comments of any kind equal love.  
Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Part 1:

The crying echoed from across the hall. Helen Magnus had been waiting for it. Their schedule had been completely disrupted by the change in time zone. They had returned from London, where Ashley was born, almost two weeks ago and she hadn't quite adjusted yet. Helen paused for another minute or two hoping her daughter would settle down on her own. Helen knew she wouldn't. She would normally have waited a little longer, but Ashley had barely had any of her bottle before being put to bed.

Helen pushed the chair away from the little desk in her bedroom. She pulled a silk dressing gown over her shoulders. She crossed the corridor barefoot and eased open the nursery door. The crying softened. Ashley knew she had her mother's attention. In the sliver of light from the hall, Helen looked into the crib. Ashley looked back and waved her arms impatiently. Helen rubbed her belly. It didn't help. The volume increased again.

"All right, little one, you win," Helen soothed.

She lifted her baby to her shoulder. The remainder of her bottle was downstairs. She shifted the little weight into the crook of her arm. Ashley clutched the hem Helen's robe. Still barefoot, Helen made her way down to the next level, and into the kitchen. It was industrial sized with a huge stove range and walk-in-refrigerator. It took a lot to feed the Sanctuary. She walked past both appliances. Her focus was on the smaller refrigerator in the back. She pulled it open. This was her stash. Formula, fresh vegetables from the garden, lunchmeat, leftover biscuits, and Ashley's bottle from earlier.

Once it was warmed up, Helen moved to her office on the same level. She settled in the sofa facing the smoldering fire. The fire bathed the room in soft light. The Sanctuary was quiet tonight. Her staff seemed to be working very hard to keep it that way for her return.

Ashley was still fusing and she greedily accepted the bottle. Helen loved the little snorting noises her daughter made while eating. When she had finally decided to go through with this, to bring her child into the world, she could not have imagined feeling this way. It was silly; she knew every parent felt like this. Helen's life was so much, well, better. The weight of decades of loss was lessened when she held Ashley. The loneliness had been so great.

She cast her eyes around the office. There was so much history. She saw pictures of herself with other scientists, government officials, dignitaries. She found the one she was looking for. The photo was taken six or seven years ago at an archeological dig on an island in Indonesia. Helen stood with a man in front of a ten-foot wall of an ancient temple. The wall was depicting cravings proving the presents of vampires in this part of the world. The man was Roger Sinclair.

He had been her second-in-command, colleague, friend, and occasional lover. Now, he was dead. He had been tall, grey-haired former military man with a sweet Louisiana accent. He had been powerful even though he had been beginning to show his age. He had been intense, passionate yet the kind of man who thought very carefully before doing anything. He had been intelligent and streetwise and kindhearted.

They had been on a mission together in the Amazon. There had been a collapse in a cave they were searching. He had made it all the way to the hospital before succumbing to his injuries. There had been a hope that he might make it; when they finally made it out of the jungle. The heartbreak had been almost too much to bear.

Standing at his funeral, Helen had made the decision. It had been something that had been on her mind more and more all the time. Standing on that chilly morning beside his earth-covered grave, she had decided to bring her child from so long in the past to term. She couldn't stand alone any longer. Roger had been getting old. How many times had been complained of that fact? After every mission, he would collapse in that chair in front of her desk and say, "I'm getting too old for this shit."

He had been getting older and she was staying exactly the same. If he had been younger, maybe he would have been able to get out of the way of those falling rocks, or heal from his injuries. Another life, another dear friend, lost. Helen knew everyone assumed Roger was Ashley's father. She didn't discourage the rumor. Ashley's real father would remain a secret. She knew her staff would not ask questions, or anyone else for that matter. Even the announcement she was pregnant had come with little comment. They had all been too shocked. Finally, the congratulations started but no one asked anything beside did she think the baby was a girl or a boy.

She had left for England a few months later. She had retreated to James Watson's presents. Another dear friend and one who understood the feeling of a human living far beyond what was natural. Though, for James, it was by choice. But he still knew what it was like for her. He knew her secrets as well. There was a small apartment in a little used wing of the London Sanctuary. Ashley had been born there. James had been her first visitor.

After paying the appropriate attention to the newborn, James had handed her back to her mother, who sat propped up against pillows in bed. He had studied her for a moment as Helen had adjusted Ashley's swaddling.

"She is not Roger's child, is she?"

Helen continued to fuss with the blanket, and didn't response or even look up. Her face had set into a grime smile. Her child was perfect, healthy and in her arms, finally. James was being up the one thing Helen didn't want to think about. For such a keen observer and such a close friend, she had expected him to ask this question much earlier.

"John Druitt?" he had asked.

After another pause, she answered with a simple, "Yes."

"Oh, Helen," he said, softly. He looked as if he was going to continue, but stopped himself. He placed a hand briefly on her shoulder. "I'll leave you two to rest. She's beautiful."

That was four months ago. Even with the crazy sleep schedule, Helen was finding it good to home. She had not expected to miss it so much. It was longest she had ever been away, by far. Being back in her own bed, her own office, and now with little Ashley across the hall, everything was right. It was a cliché and she knew it, but it was the absolute truth.

The baby had fallen back to sleep in her arms. Helen just held her, half afraid to move in case she woke, half just never wanting the moment to ever end. The fire burned lower. The old house groaned in a reassuring way. She watched Ashley sleeping.

Helen's work was important. There were scientific advances; she helped those who counted on the Sanctuary's refuge. She never imagined how trivial it would feel compared to holding her child. She had waited for over a century. She was amazed at how quickly everything had changed. Her work had always been paramount, but only hours after finding out she was pregnant, her thinking shifted. The little heartbeat she had been carrying had become more significant than anything else in the universe. No exceptions.

Helen felt her eyes beginning to close. With a deep sigh, she got to her feet, and left her office, pushing the door shut with a foot. She had taken a few steps down the hall when the floorboards creaked behind her.

"Don't get scared," a voice said in a half whisper.

She couldn't help it; she spun on the spot. He had come out of nowhere. Barney Black stood in the passage frozen in place. He had not meant to frighten her. Barney was her technical, computer, security, weapons, gadget support. He spent more of this time in a cramped lab off the main room. The space would not have been so cramped if not for the two work tables, and floor to ceiling shelves filled with broken, fixed, unusable, might-be-useful-one-day bits and pieces of weapons and technology.

Barney had been working for her for years and years. He was wiry and always reminded Helen of a bird. He was never still, but always observing, monitoring. His freckled face belied his ornery personality. Barney worked much better with machines, than most people, and as he got older this quality was getting worse. He was extremely smart and had very little time for those below his intelligence. He had a deep respect for Helen and her work; a respect she shared.

"Barney," she said with relief.

"It's only me, bad timing, I guess," he stared to say aloud, but lowered his voice after catching sight of the sleeping baby. "Sorry," he added.

"It's fine. She is very much asleep," she said with a smile, matching his whisper.

"Still not used to our schedule?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not. Why are you up so late? Is there something wrong?"

"There was a problem with a new arrival, the humanoid lizard, we decided to call Steve. It has been a long time since he has lived with a roof above his head, and he's having some, um, issues."

"Anything I can do?" she asked.

"Nope, the Big Guy and I are working on. All you need to worry about right now is that baby."

Helen was surprised by his sentiment. Barney usually a hands off kind of man; he normally would have jumped at any help offered. She smiled gently, "I don't need any special treatment. I'm perfectly capable—"

"I'm not questioning your ability, Magnus," he interrupted. "Hell, I think motherhood suites you and makes you a force to be reckoned with. She needs your time more than we do. I'm just trying to make it easier."

"You don't have to worry about us," she answered.

"I know I don't have to. What you are missing is that I want to be worried about you. We're a family here. I'm going to be this kid's favorite uncle. I don't want you to have to do this alone."

But that is exactly what she was doing. She was doing this alone. She was a hundred and thirty-three years old. She had watched everyone she knew fade away. She had buried so many people. Her only hope in this world was that this child would help ease that ache. Was she setting herself up of a far greater pain? What would happen if she outlived her child? This was her choice; this was burden. She was counting on all the moments in between. She was relying on the others to help run the Sanctuary, but this child was hers. Her decision, and Ashley was her responsibility, alone. She couldn't explain this to Barney. She couldn't articulate it.

She settled for, "Thank you, Barney. You don't know how much that means to me."

There was another lull in the conversation. Finally, Barney inclined his head, "Well, good night, Magnus."

Helen watched him proceed down the passage before turning to opposite direction. She went upstairs, and settled Ashley back in her crib. She watched her baby sleeping for another minute or so. Helen was already so proud of her little girl. She had had a feeling she would have a daughter while she was pregnant. She had just known, what some would call mother's intuition. Ashley was going to be smart, and strong. She didn't have a choice; it was in her blood. She was going to be the companion Helen had been looking for all these long years. Helen couldn't wait to begin teaching her daughter, watching her grow up. Helen smiled to her self as she finally moved towards the door, another cliché: every day would be a gift.

"Good night, my darling," she whispered as she slipped from the room.


	2. Part 2

Part 2:

"Both of them?" Helen said, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

She was referring to the miniature Adalberns, bear-like creatures that were likely an offshoot of the Ursidae familia. It also looked like they could communicate through some sort of pre-verbal telepathy. They were also incredibility aggressive when cornered. It had been a nightmare to catch them both and get them into their enclosure. And now, Adam had let them out.

Adam Santos was a new recruit who was not quite living up to expectations. It had been six months and he was still unsure, hesitant especially around the abnormals. He was terrified of Barney, and tended to drop things around the Big Guy. He was a much better researcher. His evaluation was coming up and Helen had already been considering suggesting his move to the Madrid Sanctuary, the facility that focused on furthering the research of the others. This was the finally straw. It was not going to be a suggestion after this.

"Yes, both of them," said Adam. "I underestimated their speed. I was not fast enough in closing the door. The male forced his way through and the female followed."

He hovered behind her as she matched down the hall towards Barney's lab. When she entered, he was already busy. She didn't even need to ask.

"I managed to separate them. I've got the female trapped in one of the examination room. She wandered in while the male stayed outside and I closed the automatic door. And I'm going to guess she is not too happy as she is destroying it. The male doesn't seem to like it either. He went berserk and I'm haven't located him again. I'm checking all the cameras and the Big Guy is looking in the basement."

Helen checked her weapon and grabbed two extra tranquillizer magazines. She bent down to fix her bootlace. She straightened, "Okay, send the Big Guy to me. We'll go take care of the female, alert me when you locate the male."

"And me?" asked Adam.

"Help Barney, but stay out of his way," she said. He didn't seem to be surprised by her answer.

She moved towards the main lab when Barney's deadly calm voice called her back, "Magnus, I found him."

Her breath caught in her chest. She didn't like his tone. She whirled and returned to the surveillance screens. The male was barreling down the hall upstairs. Helen saw in her mind's eye Ashley napping in her crib. He was heading towards the living quarters. This abnormal was in between herself and her child.

"We need to get there now!" Her fear was barely in control. She raced out of the lab, gripping her handgun tightly. The others were behind her.

She heard the creature before she saw it. The male Adalbern was scrabbling down the passage demolishing everything in his way. He was a matter of few from Ashley's bedroom door. Helen fired her weapon. She fired again and again. Barney stepped up beside her and began firing as well. The Adalberns had thick fur and even thicker skin. Although the tranquillizer found their marks, the abnormal did not slow. Again, she fired, emptying the clip. She reloaded.

More gunshots sounded around the hall and finally the creature began to sway. He made one final lunge directly towards Helen. The male collapsed at her feet as she pulled back. Everything was suddenly quiet except for Ashley's cries. Helen stepped over the Adalbern's unconscious body. She wrenched the door to her daughter's room open.

Ashley was curled in her crib. Great sobs shook her little body. The noises in the hall had clearly scared her out of her wits. Ashley saw her mother enter the room and put her arm in the air. Helen pulled the toddler into her arms, and felt tears burning in her own eyes. Ashley buried her face in Helen's neck. She rocked and comforted her daughter until her tears stopped and the sobs turned into little hiccups.

"I have you. You're safe," Helen said over and over again.

This had been a minor incident, hardly worth noting in the files. It was a simple recapture, but her child had never been involved. She had felt the panic rising in her chest, a feeling she was not familiar with. She always so collected, calms in the face of danger. It was something she was proud of. She stayed cool while everyone else panicked.

Her greatest fear had suddenly been thrown into sharp relief. All she wanted was for Ashley to safe and healthy. But this was her life. It was not something she was going to be able to change and that scared her more than anything. Her child and her work were going to be at odds. She had known this, but was now facing it, and much soon than she could have imagined it. She clearly had been under the false pretense that just because Ashley had not been brought into this world, she was not effect by it.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Helen cleared her throat before calling, "Come in."

The Big Guy eased open the door. He took a few steps into the nursery. Helen sat in the rocking chair looking up at him. Ashley was still cuddled in Helen's arms.

"I wanted to make sure you were all right," he said in his deep rasp.

"We are both fine. A little shaken, I suppose, but fine," she said.

"She was never in direct danger," he said.

"It was close enough," she answered. "I wasn't excepting this."

"The danger?"

"To love her so much that even the thought of her being hurt or scared, breaks my heart. I just want her to safe, always," she said.

"That is not possible even if she were not daughter of the head of the Sanctuary network."

"I know, but this is the first time I've had to face it," she said, giving Ashley a squeeze. "But, at the same time, I don't want her to be afraid because I am afraid."

"Then teach her not to be."

"I will try."

She fell quiet and the Big Guy did not prompt her. Helen lost in thought. Everything felt so different with her own child. She made a silent promise to her daughter. She would not let Ashley be afraid. The brave spirit Helen already saw in her three-year-old daughter could be crashed by fear. Helen would teach Ashley to face any fear, starting now.

Helen brushed a lock of Ashley's blonde hair behind her ear, "Would you like to come downstairs with me?"

"Yes, Mama," answered Ashley in her soft baby voice.

Helen rose, adjusting Ashley weight in her arms as she stood. They were both going to face fear. She was going to stand beside her daughter and show her everything was all right. Helen emerged from the nursery, the Big Guy following close behind. The Adalbern had been removed from the hall. Helen had listened to her staff move it.

"Is the female back in the enclosure?" she asked the Big Guy as they stepped in the elevator.

"Yes, we did not need to sedate her. Barney opened the door and she ran straight to her mate."

"And they are secure?"

"Yes, and Adam has been banned from operating the door controls."

Helen smiled. She was trying to her very best not to blame Adam for the panic earlier. It had been an honest mistake; he had made so many mistakes, though. She pushed the thought aside again. No one had been hurt, except that antique end table in the hall. Although, she knew she would not be able to properly trust him again. Another reason for his switch to the Madrid Sanctuary. She would discuss it with him later. Her focus was still on the child in her arms.

They stepped off the elevator onto the lowest level. Helen rarely brought Ashley down more for the safety of the equipment than anything else. Ashley was painfully curious. She was also very physical. She explored through touch, which meant anything that caught her interest was in danger from her clumsy baby hands.

Helen marched across the main lab towards the Adalbern's enclosure. She rounded the corner to passage where the large, plate glass window looked into the habitat. The male was still unconscious while Adam stood in front of the glass watching the recovering male Adalbern. He saw Helen and stepped back giving them more space than necessary. The Big Guy stood next to him, looming ominously.

Helen let Ashley down, but kept hold of her hand. Ashley clasped at her mother, clearly not want to put down. Helen bent down so she was eye level with her daughter.

"Remember those scary noises you heard before?" Helen asked her.

Ashley nodded, her eyes big.

"Those noises were made by these abnormals."

"Really?"

"Yes, darling, they aren't so scary, are they?"

Ashley shook her head. She untangled herself from Helen and stepped forward to press her face against the glass.

"Is that one sleeping?" she asked pointing to the male.

Helen answered her and then Ashley was off asking her usual million questions. A few minutes after that, she was running around again. Barney appeared with a pile of books in his arms.

"How's the little lab assistant?" he asked with a wink.

Helen as always amazed at how gentle he was with Ashley as he was usually grouchy towards everyone else. He was so careful that no one saw his compassion, but no with Ashley. He played with her, talked with her, and was more patient with her than anyone he came into contact with.

"She's fine as if nothing happened," she said over her daughter's chattering. Both adults had learned to simply speak louder than Ashley.

"Resilient," he said. "Tough, like her mother."

Helen smiled as she lifted Ashley up again. She gave her daughter a kiss as Ashley continued to talk. Resilient. That was a good way to describe her. Brave, and strong willed could also be used. This child was well suited to joining Helen's work, but not yet. Of course, she was still so small. Helen just wanted Ashley to be safe. Here, in her mother's arms, she was safe. Helen kissed her again.

Ashley tugged at Helen's shirt. "Mama, hungry?" asked Ashley.

Helen looked at Barney. "Like nothing ever happened," said she with another smile.


	3. Part 3

Author's Notes: Sorry, this one took a while. I was away with limited time and limited computer access.

Part 3:

Blissful sleep, it was that last thing Helen thought as she finally, at long last, drifted off. She had nothing to worry about for the next few hours. There were no howling abnormals. There were no flying, swimming, crawling, running, teleporting or biting abnormals or scientists, technology experts, or weapons experts. It was just her pillow and a soft blanket.

There was a small noise in the hall. It had only been a few hours. Helen had been deep asleep, but not long enough to get the weariness out of her body. She rolled over, willing herself back to sleep before she really woke up. There it was again. The door opened a crack. Her back was to it, but she could see the silver of light on the opposite wall.

"Mommy?" It was Ashley's tiny whisper.

Helen rolled over again and could barely open in eyes in light. Ashley clung to the doorknob in her oversized t-shirt and tousled pigtails. Her blues eyes pooled with tears. She clutched Duckie, her stuffed dog, to her chest.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" asked Helen in a groggy whisper.

"Mommy, I'm afraid," she said still whispering.

Helen didn't answer just lifted her covers. Ashley dived under. She snuggled into Helen's arms. She kissed Ashley's cheeks, again and again, wiping a way the tears. Helen marveled at how big her now five-year-old daughter was as she held her. Wasn't it just a few days ago she held Ashley in one arm and rocked her to sleep? Now, she was this little person with ideas and more personality than she knew what to do with.

"I had a bad dream," whispered Ashley. "Something was chancing me. And I couldn't see it. And I couldn't run fast. And there were shadows in the darkness."

Helen had heard Ashley say this before. It seemed to be a catchall phrase for monsters, strange noises, and things Ashley couldn't see clearly or understand. Basically, her way of comprehending her mother's work. Ashley was brave, but she was still just a little girl. All she wanted was her mother to comfort her, to tell her it was going to okay. How could Helen rid Ashley's of her nightmares, tell her there was no such things as monsters, when there were, in fact, monsters living downstairs? The guilt pulled at her again.

It had been a conscious choice to allow Ashley to be a part of her work from such a young age. She didn't want hid the abnormals away behind a door Ashley wasn't allowed to enter. Helen's father had done that to her and the secrets had threatened to destroy their relationship. She had decided to be open with her child, well, on most topics.

"It's all over now. The nightmares can't find you here. And if they do, Mummy will keep you safe. I will always do my best to keep you safe," said Helen.

"I know, Mommy," said Ashley with an enormous yawn.

They were both quiet for a moment.

"Tell me a story," whispered Ashley as if she were afraid that Helen had already fallen back to asleep.

"A story? About what?" said Helen, pulling the little girl even closer.

"Somewhere you've been," Ashley said with another yawn.

"Where? I've been to many, many places."

"The jungle."

"I've been to the Amazon Rainforest in South America, many times," said Helen.

"That's good," said Ashley. She rolled over. Helen started rubbing Ashley's back in little circles. She lowered her voice and spoke slowly. It was time for Ashley to get some rest.

"There is green as far as you see. The trees are so tall and the leaves so thick you can't see the sky while standing on the ground." Ashley yawned again, and Helen kept talking, describing all she could remember from the last time she was to the Amazon.

It didn't take long. Ashley slept peacefully, once again. Helen watched her daughter's chest rising and falling. Helen closed her eyes again, still listening to Ashley's breathing. She allowed sleep to return.

Ashley made a noise and Helen was awoken with a start. This time it was morning. Sunlight edged the curtains. Ashley made another noise. Helen raised her head. She expected to find Ashley in the grips of another nightmare, but Ashley had her eyes squeezed shut and was fighting a smile. She was clearly pretending to still be asleep. Helen sat up and crossed her legs beneath the sheets. She pulled Ashley into her lap, cradling her like an infant. She called her name, "Ashley, wake up."

Ashley held back a giggle, barely. Helen shook her shoulders playfully. "Ashley, Ashley, please, wake up," she said, dissolving into mock tears.

The tears turned into kisses and tickles. Ashley couldn't hold it anymore. She burst out laughing and tried to get away. Helen pulled her back. A small wrestling match ensued. In the end, Helen flopped back against the pillows.

"I concede defeat!" Helen gasped.

Ashley paused mid-jump, "What?"

Helen snorted, "You win."

Ashley raised her arms above her head and continued jumping up and down on the bed. Helen gave her a few more jumps, then put her arms out. Ashley understood. She dropped to her knees, flopped onto her stomach and once again settled against her mother. Helen kissed the top of her head.

"Any more nightmares?" asked Helen.

"No."

"I'm glad. Would spending less time in the lab, away from the abnormals, help stop the nightmares?"

Ashley actually jerked away. She was suddenly very upset, and tears again filled her eyes. She started jabbering, protesting with all her being. Staying away from the lab was the last thing in the world she wanted. Helen thought there would be a chance Ashley would jump at this easy out. Ashley wouldn't need to be brave anymore. Clearly, that was not the case. Ashley wanted to stay.

"All right," said Helen, calmly. "It was just a thought."

Of course, this decision was not up to Ashley. Helen wanted to see how Ashley would react. Ashley wanted to be involved. And this thought filled Helen with so much pride and happiness she couldn't even describe it. She would never dream of forcing her daughter to be a part of her work, but that Ashley wanted to be was exactly what she had hoped when Ashley was born. Helen pulled her daughter into a hug and another kiss on the top of the head.

"So, I don't have to stay away?" Ashley said, her voice slightly shaky.

"Not for the time being," Helen reassured. She paused, "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes, please," answered Ashley.

Helen dragged herself out of bed and disappeared into the closet. She emerged dressed and found Ashley hiding beneath the sheets. Helen knelt down and rested her elbows on the mattress.

"I was thinking pancakes this morning," she casually said.

Ashley threw the covers off of her immediately. She had a huge grin on her face and was nodding vigorously. It was Sunday morning, a time Helen usually reserved for Ashley. She tried to make these quiet moments special. She turned around to offer a piggyback ride to Ashley. Ashley climbed on and Helen carried her from the room, downstairs, and into the kitchen for a mother-daughter pancake breakfast.


	4. Part 4

A/N: I've changed this part up a bit. I never really liked the way it turned out. As always, comments are love.

Part 4:

Helen stepped into the elevator, travel weary. Nepal was a very far away. Just the trek out the mountains to the airstrip, it couldn't be called an airport, had taken three days. Nothing had gone smoothly since then. Then the eight-hour flight from outside of Bhaktapur to Zürich had been extremely uncomfortable. She had been squeezed in the back of the tiny plane surrounded by boxes of artifacts. And the layover in Zürich had been delayed for hours and hours due to weather conditions.

It was ten o'clock on Monday night. She was supposed to arrive early Sunday morning. She had hardly eaten and barely slept since leaving the village in the mountains. She had been away from home for far too long. All she wanted was a shower and to see her daughter, but not necessarily in that order.

The elevator stopped moving, the doors opened and Helen stepped out, dragging her duffle behind her. She turned towards her office where she knew Ashley would be waiting. There was a squeal. Helen only had a chance to catch a glimpse of the blond-haired child in pajamas before she was nearly knocked over by the girl's embrace. Ashley had grabbed her mother around the waist, and held on with all her strength. She buried her face in Helen's stomach, and would not let go.

Helen released her bag. She reached down and lifted her daughter into her arms. Ashley was nine years old now and almost too big. Ashley let go of her mother's waist just long enough to transfer her grasp to Helen's neck. The exhaustion was gone. Helen felt the weight of the little body in her arms. She took in the scent of Ashley's clean hair.

"I missed you so much," she said into Ashley's ear.

Ashley squeezed tighter, "Don't ever go away again."

The little girl was on the verge of tears. Helen felt the same way. This trip had been extended from three weeks to just over a month. The location of the expedition had proved unfruitful, and the decision had been made to move camp after the first few days, and stay the extra week. The pilot was one of those wishing to stay, so Helen had little choice. The three weeks would have been the longest by far Helen had been away from home since Ashley was born. The Nepal expedition had been a special opportunity; so Mrs. Dora Lawny, an old friend of the family, had come to stay.

Mrs. Lawny could create a current through her hand that could ease pain. She had known Ashley since she was born, and was the closest thing Ashley had to a grandmother. Mrs. Lawny had always been the person Helen looked to care for Ashley while she was away. The Big Guy and Barney were still at the Sanctuary, of course, but they had other things to worry about than whether Ashley brushed her teeth or not. Mrs. Lawny lived in England, but she was always willing to make the journey.

Ashley had dismissed the idea of Helen's lengthy absence. Three weeks would be no problem. She didn't care. She was independent. Clearly, it had not been as easy as Ashley thought. Mother and daughter had only been able to speak few times via a satellite phone with poor reception. These conversations had done nothing to ease Helen's homesickness; in fact it may have made it worse. She was home now. She was where she wanted to be.

She shifted Ashley's weight, and put her down. Ashley let go again just long enough to grab hold of something else. She slipped an arm around her mother's waist. Helen kept her arm around Ashley's shoulders. She offered one-armed hugs to Mrs. Lawny, Barney, the Big Guy. They welcomed her back, and asked her about her trip. She answered without giving much detail. Mrs. Lawny apologized for keeping Ashley up so late. Barney asked about the new artifacts. There would be lots of cataloging, but not tomorrow.

"I've been away for a long time," she said, giving Ashley a squeeze. "Tomorrow, I am taking the day off and spending time with my daughter. No school, no work, not tomorrow."

Ashley squealed again, "Really?"

"Yes, daring."

Ashley was not the only who was surprised.

"Doc is takin' the day off, all right then," Barney shrugged his shoulders and turned down the hall without another word.

Mrs. Lawny bid them good night, recognizing mother and child needed to be alone. She always knew things like that. The Big Guy grunted, "Would you like a late supper?"

For the first time, Helen's attention was not on Ashley, "That would be wonderful."

He grunted again and followed Mrs. Lawny, who had already disappeared down the passage.

"Would you get my pack?" Helen asked.

Ashley was now edger to help, and finally released her hold. She raced down the hall to where the duffle still lying on the floor. Ashley lifted the bag to her shoulder though she could barely raise it off the ground. She pulled it into the office behind Helen.

Helen saw the loveseat in front of the cozy fire and gratefully collapsed. It was so very good to be home. The smell of wood polish, antique books, the dancing fire light, Ashley's hand on her arm as the girl climbed onto the seat, it all meant Helen was home. It was amazing how it made her feel. The ache was gone; it had disappeared the second she had stepped onto that elevator.

Helen had long since realized her life was split into two major parts: before and after the birth of her daughter. Before Ashley, Helen would often spend weeks even months away from her Sanctuary on missions or at other Sanctuary. Returning home had always felt good. It was a return to familiar faces, surrounds, routine, but being away had never been such a hardship. She had never felt such a yearning to be back. She had always been able to live in the moment. She usually stayed focused on where she was, not what she left behind. Ashley had changed that.

It was not just being away from her daughter. That was hard under any circumstance. Ashley had helped Helen to understand how to love a place, something that Helen hadn't understood since she herself was a child. She had returned to people she cared about in a place she cared about.

"I brought you something," Helen said.

Ashley eagerly sat up. She had been waiting for this. Helen always made a point of finding a small something to bring back for Ashley. Helen yanked her pack upright and braced it with her knees. She rummaged for a few seconds before finding the item. She withdrew a small-carved box wrapped in a protective scarf. It was about the size of a cigar box, and made of a heavy wood delicately carved with vines and flowers. She handed it to Ashley.

"One of our guides from the village spoke a little English, I told him about you. He made this for you," said Helen.

"Just for me?" asked Ashley.

"Just for you," echoed Helen. "He said it was a place to keep your secrets."

"It's so pretty," said Ashley. She traced one of vines with her fingers.

"So, you like it?" Helen said, already knowing the answer.

"I love it!" said Ashley as she leaned over a planted a kiss on Helen's cheek, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome. How has school been since we last talked?"

Helen leaned back and listened peacefully as Ashley chatted about friends, homework, and new Sanctuary arrivals. Ashley paused only when the Big Guy entered with a tray of food and a cup of tea for Helen. Then, it was Helen's turn. Ashley insisted her mother detail every part of her trip from the moment she stepped off the plane. Helen dearly missed being aware of everything in Ashley's life and she guessed Ashley felt the same way. When Helen was home that were only apart those hours that Ashley was at school. Both were very wrapped up in the other's life. Helen again thought how good it was to be home.

Ashley's eyes were beginning to close. Helen had finished her meal. Ashley was half asleep beneath Helen's arm. Helen watched the fire, remembering the days she used to sit on this very sofa and give Ashley her bottle. The grandfather clock in the hall chimed midnight. Helen finally stirred.

"My darling, it's time for bed," said Helen.

"No, I'm not tried," answered Ashley, but allowing Helen to lift her up.

Helen smiled. She didn't really want to move either. The fire was still burning. Helen brushed Ashley's hair off her forehead.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" asked Helen.

"I want to go back to Morocco," said Ashley, sleepily.

Helen had to laugh. She had taken Ashley to a conference that had been held in Morocco last summer. They had taken sometime afterwards to travel. It was most exotic place Ashley had been to, and she had talked about going back for months.

"Unfortunately, there will not be enough time for that," Helen said.

"Yes, there will," said Ashley suddenly wide awake, "I have something to show you."

They both needed sleep. Helen sighed, "Will this be quick? It is very late."

"Yes, yes," answered Ashley.

She jumped off the sofa and was pulling at Helen's hand. Helen allowed herself to be dragged from the office. Her body was exhausted, but her brain told her it was mid-afternoon. This was not going to help her jet lag.

Ashley pulled her mother into the library. Helen instantly saw what Ashley had been meant. Helen's old Bedouin tent was hung from one of the great beams that stretched across the ceiling. Helen laughed again. She couldn't even remember where it had come from or who had given it to her. Ashley must have found it somewhere in the dank level below the lab used only for storage.

Ashley disappeared inside. Helen pulled back the flap of the colored fabric. It still had the somewhat musty smell of being in the basement for too long. The hard wood floor inside the tent had been covered with blankets and what looked like every pillows in the entire Sanctuary. There was even a teapot. Ashley stood in center, absolutely beaming.

"Do you like it?" she asked.

"Of course! It's wonderful!" said Helen. "I can't believe you found this old thing."

"And I set it up mostly by myself. The Big Guy help get it over beam," Ashley said.

"It really is wonder, Ashley. But right now, it is time for us to go to bed. I promise we will spend the entire day in here, if you like, but we are not sleeping in it," said Helen, correctly guessing what Ashley was going to ask next.

For once, Ashley didn't protest. Helen reached out her hand to Ashley, and her daughter took it. This time Helen led the way upstairs and into Ashley room. Helen settled her daughter under the covers. Ashley yawned widely as Helen perched on the edge of the bed. Ashley reached for her stuffed dog. Helen brushed Ashley's hair off her forehead.

"I missed you," said Ashley, looking up at her mother who had perched on edge of the bed.

"Darling, I missed you too," said Helen.

"Can I come with you next time?" Ashley said through a yawn.

"Once you finish school, you can come with me every single time."

"I like that."

"I would, too."

Ashley yawned again. Helen leaned over and kissed Ashley's cheek, "Sleep well."

She rose and clicked the light off. She paused, taking another look at her child before easing the door closed behind her.

She retrieved her pack and returned upstairs. Once in her room, she dumped her clothes in the laundry pile, and took a proper shower for the first time in weeks. When Helen exited her bathroom, she found Ashley now sound asleep in her bed. It had been years since Helen had allowed her daughter to sleep in her bed, but Helen decided to made an exception.

"Al-Mizaan," she whispered aloud, although there was no one near to hear it, "Never forfeit your principles."

She gingerly crawled into bed and turned out her own light. She lied next to her daughter in the dark and listened to her breathing. She wanted to make the moment last just a little longer. It was childish; she knew it. Tomorrow would be back to the real world. Ashley would go back to school the next day. Helen would return to the lab. She would catalog the new artifacts with Barney. She would deal with crises. She would work long hours and sleep little. Her life would fall back into its usual rhythm, but for right now all that mattered was the sleeping child beside her.


	5. Part 5

Part 5:

Henry Foss burst into Helen's office. She was replacing a book on the shelf with her back to the door. He startled her and she whirled on the spot. He knew better than to simply charge in. She was about to chastise him when she saw is face. He was pale and utterly out of breath. Something was wrong.

"What is it?" She asked partially knowing the answer.

"Ashley," he gasped.

She inhaled deeply. Her stomach clenched; her heart skipped a beat.

Henry could barely speak. "We were testing—I know you said not to—Dr. Magnus, I'm sorry."

She crossed to where he stood, "Henry, where is my daughter?"

"Behind the north tower," he said looking at the floor. "The wall collapsed. We were running Barney's obstacle course. I can't get to her."

Helen allowed herself a moment of absolute panic. This was her worse fear, once again, realized. She let it wash over and then pushed it aside. Panic did no one good. She moved towards action. She reached Big Guy over the walkie-talkie, and directed him meet her there.

"Take me to her," she said to Henry. "Quickly."

They rushed down the hall. Henry led the way. He was nineteen now, or that was their best guess. He had been living at the Sanctuary, or one of its schools, for over ten years. He was growing up. She had begun to consider him an adult, but look in his eyes right now was that of scared child's. She swallowed her panic again.

They were outside now, picking over the scaffolding and piles of rubble behind the north tower. Barney had built an obstacle course back here to test his prototypes. Henry had been testing a new stun gun and, as usual, Ashley would have been right behind him.

There was an old section of wall no longer attached to anything. "We were climbing that when it collapsed. Ashley fell, but only a few feet. The wall fell on top of her. I'm sorry," he said as the reached the pile.

Barney was already there and doing his best to sifting through the debris. He didn't say anything. Helen dove in and, with Henry's help, began pushing the larger chunks out of the way. The Big Guy appeared to do the rest of the heavy lifting.

"Ashley, I'm here. We're going to get you out. Hold on!"

Her child was hurt. Her child was hurt. The phrase was repeating in Helen's head over and over, blocking everything else out. The few minutes seemed an eternity. Ashley's arm finally emerged, followed by rest of her. She had found her daughter. Ashley covered in dust. Bleeding gashes covered her arms and her face. Her leg was sticking out at an odd angle. Her eyes were unfocused.

Helen reached out. Ashley grabbed her mother, and didn't let go. She just held on, and let the tears fall. The Big Guy gingerly pulled the little girl completely out of the ruins.

"Mommy, you're here," Ashley sobbed.

"Of course, I'm always here. I will always come for you," said Helen cradling her daughter.

The sun shone brightly and cheerfully through the windows of Helen's. She balanced two teacups and their saucers on top a single book. She glanced around the room as she entered. A place for everything, and everything in its place, except for the mess of books and papers on her desk. Ashley sat in the window seat; her leg bond in vibrant green cast.

Helen settled next to her daughter and was exceedingly careful not to even touch the leg. The bone had only been set a week earlier and Ashley was still in a lot of pain, even though she hid it well. Helen passed one of the cups to Ashley.

"Thanks, Mom," she said in a dejected sort of way.

It was a perfect summer day and Ashley would have given anything to outside. But she was stuck inside while she recuperated. Helen's heart still skipped a beat as she remembered the image of Ashley unconscious body emerging from the debris. Ashley had a bad concussion, required over twenty stitches on her arms and face, and fractured her femur. The break had not needed surgery, but Ashley had stayed in the hospital overnight. There was the most terrifying day of Helen's life. Her emotions were still raw. Nothing a good cup of tea wouldn't solve.

"How's the reading coming?" Helen asked.

There was an open copy of _Oliver Twist_ sitting on Ashley's lap. She shrugged. Reading was not what she wanted be doing right now. She was in pain and having trouble concentrating. She was an energetic twelve year old. She wanted to be helping Henry and Barney test a new weapon prototype. She didn't voice any of this, but Helen knew.

"Would you like to help me with my research?" said Helen.

Again, Ashley shrugged.

"Should I call Margot?"

Margot was Ashley's closest friend from school. Ashley attended a very prestigious private school. A school attended by children of the rich and powerful. The administrators knew how to value the privacy of the parents. There were still a few awkward questions when Helen first enrolled Ashley, but her secrets were safe. Ashley was still not able to discuss the abnormals in the open, but a few friends had been allowed to visit the Sanctuary provided they stayed in the living quarters. Margot was the only one who truly knew about the abnormals, but she only seen the Big Guy.

"No, I'm no fun," answered Ashley.

"I'm sure Margot wouldn't mind. You could watch a film."

"I said no," snapped Ashley.

Helen backed off. She didn't take offense. She could understand Ashley frustration.

"I'm just trying to help," said Helen as she got up and returned to her desk.

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry," Ashley said, staring out of the window again.

Helen didn't need to response. She shifted the books on her desk and began taking notes. They worked in silence for a while. There was a quiet knock on the door. It was half opened there was no need to knock.

"Come in," called Helen.

Henry tentatively entered. He had been avoiding both Ashley and Helen since they got back from the hospital. He was a member of the family. Helen knew him like her own daughter. She knew Henry was feeling guilty.

Ashley's face lit up as Henry came in. She idolized him like a big brother. Whenever he was home, she followed his everywhere. "Hey, Henry," she said.

"Um, hi, Ash," he answered without looking at her or her cast. "The mail is here, Dr. Magnus."

He handed over a small package and a stack of envelopes. He held his deliveries sandwiched in between his hands. Helen placed her own hands over his. "Please, Henry, Dr. Magnus? You've haven't called me that in years."

Henry wiggled his hands away. He shrugged. He turned to leave.

"Henry, please, no one blames you. It was an accident. Ashley is going to be okay. It was my fault more than anything. I should have had that tower repaired years ago."

"I know," he said. He was not very convincing. "She was following me. I went over the wall. I didn't need to."

"Did you push me?" asked Ashley.

Henry whirled to face her in the window seat, "God, of course not!"

"Then get over it." She returned to her book.

Henry stared at her. Helen stared at her. Ashley pretended not to notice. Henry finally gathered himself. "Okay then, I'm just going to—ya know—do some stuff," he said, sounding just like the old Henry. Ashley's words had seemed to have shocked him back to normal. "I'll be in the lab if you need anything, Doc. Later, Ash."

Helen looked at the post after watching Henry leave the office. The package was a book she had requested from the library at the Moscow Sanctuary. In the pile of envelopes was a letter from Watson, a letter from a scientific group Malaysia judging by the postmark. There was an electric bill and the tuition bill for Wainrite Academy, Ashley's school.

She set the bills aside and opened James' letter first. She found she couldn't concentrate either. There had been an idea she was working on. She had been thinking of it more and more; it didn't seem to leave her alone. Helen put down the letter. She rested her chin in her palm. She watched Ashley for moment. Was she old enough? Was she ready? Had she proved her by the way she was handling her injury? The way she handled Henry?

He had needed a shock to remind him their world was dangerous. She had known. She was already helping Barney on a regular basis. She did odd jobs to help with the research. She knew the interworkings of Sanctuary as well as anyone.

"Ashley," said Helen, and then waited for her daughter to look at her. "There is something I have wanted to talk to you about."

Ashley raised her eyebrows, "Yeah?"

"Would you like to be a part of my research?"

"I thought I was," her voice slightly hurt.

"Of course, you are very helpful, but I mean really join the Sanctuary network and become one of my protégés."

"What? Of course! I've waiting and waiting!"

"You understand what this entails? You will be given full access to the research and the abnormals. You will travel with me. However, that would require you to be home schooled. You would not go back to Wainrite Academy in the autumn, and you would hardly get to see your friends. You would formally be trained in martial arts, weaponry, and study science, history, mythology. You would have to work very hard."

"I understand!" Ashley said as soon as Helen finished speaking. She was positively vibrating.

Helen couldn't be happy by this response, but she kept her feelings to herself. She didn't want to influence Ashley in any way. She wanted her daughter to decide this all on her own.

"I want you to think about this, actually think about it. It will be very difficult to change your mind," cautioned Helen.

Ashley kept quiet. She knew her mother would not accept an answer today or even the next. Ashley was ready. She had been waiting her entire life for this. She couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"I'm giving you my answer now. I don't want to wait any longer. I'm ready," she said, her eyes flashing with defiance.

Helen rose from her seat. She kissed Ashley on the top of her head. "It will be dangerous," she said.

"I know and I don't care," answered Ashley with the same defiance.

"I am so proud of you," Helen said. She gave Ashley a one armed hug, carefully avoiding bandages. "But you will have to wait just a little bit longer. Your leg must heal first."


	6. Part 6

Author's Notes: I've got another part for you folks. This wait wasn't too bad was it? I love spring break. Enjoy! Comments = love.

Part 6:

The engine noises filled Helen's ears. The private jet was empty apart from Henry, her daughter and herself. The lights were dimmed. Henry was asleep with headphones on and his feet the seat next to him. Helen sat in a row on the opposite side of the plane with Ashley's head resting on her lap. Ashley's legs were curled on the other half of the row. She wasn't asleep.

Helen kept her eyes focused out of the small porthole window. There was nothing but darkening clouds. The sun was setting as they moved west. Helen was still. She sat with her hand on Ashley's shoulder. Both yearned for contact. Ashley could have sat anywhere in the plane. She had chosen to sit next to her mother, a rarity now that Ashley was fourteen. It had taken less than an hour after taken off for Ashley to slide into her current position.

The day had been long. The night would be endless. The flight would be another four or five hours. She wished Ashley would rest. Her daughter shifted. She brushed a lock of Ashley's blond hair off her forehead.

"Try to sleep, darling," said Helen, softly.

"I can't, Mommy," answered Ashley.

Helen said nothing else. She tucked Ashley's hair behind her ear. Over and over, she ran the soft lock beneath her fingers. She had done this when Ashley was little. She had done it to soothe her daughter to sleep when she wouldn't take her nap. It had the same effect now. It didn't take much; Ashley was already exhausted.

It was truly dark outside now. Helen couldn't see anything beyond the blinking wing lights. She carefully slid off her high-heeled shoes without disturbing Ashley. There were black, like her skirt, like her blouse, like Ashley's dress, like Henry's tie. She leaned against the headrest.

Barney Black was dead. She said it to herself again, but the words were still foreign. They brought him back to the east coast, at his family's request. The funeral had been only a few hours ago. They had left for the airport straight from the reception.

It had been an impossible day. Barney's family, namely his sister, believed Helen had stolen Barney from them. He had been their golden boy. Intelligent, athletic, and handsome, he was destined to do great things until two weeks after his college graduation. There had been a terrible car accident. Two of Barney's friends, as well as Barney, were badly injured and another two killed.

It had taken him nearly a year and a half to recover. And he was never really the same. It changed him more than his family was willing to admit. Helen had seen the pictures and had heard the stories, but she barely recognized the man. This changed was the beginning of his sullenness and his isolation. This was all not blamed on the trauma, but Helen.

It had not even been Helen's idea for Barney to join the Sanctuary. She had said no the first, well two or three times. He had proved himself in the end. She hired him. Barney moved as far away from home as possible and cut all but the most basic ties with his family. He told them nothing of his work. His family had expected him to become a successful doctor or lawyer and take care of them. He became a reclusive scientist instead.

At the gathering following the funnel, Martha, Barney's sister, had cornered Ashley. The girl had been bouncing back and forth between her mother and Henry. Henry was sitting in a small table off to the side, not talking to anyone. Helen was mingling. Ashley didn't want to leave her mother's side, but being near her meant having to talk to people. She was on her way back to Henry after answering questions from one of Barney's cousin.

Martha had tapped her on shoulder. Ashley turned to face the tall woman with the same sandy hair as Barney. She had been a few years younger than Barney. She had none of the veiled gentleness of her brother. She had a tendency to drink too much at any get-together. Tonight was no different.

"You're _her_ daughter?" slurred Martha, pointing to Helen who was chatting with one of Barney's cousin.

Ashley barely nodded. Martha, with her wine glass in danger of tipping, eyed Ashley.

"What's it like where he worked? What made it so special?"

Ashley began to give the standard response she had learned as soon as she had started school, "It's a private research facility focusing on genetics and evolution because it is privately funded—"

Martha interrupted, "That's what _she_ said, word for word," again she pointed to Helen, "tell me what it's really like. Tell me why your private research facility was worth abandoning his family."

"I—I don't know," Ashley was lost. She didn't know how to deal with this drunken relative, or answer the questions she was asking.

Martha wouldn't accept that answer, even though Ashley was only a child, and she had lost just as much as the woman. Martha swore loudly. She jabbed a finger in Ashley's direction. Ashley stepped backwards. She had been training for two years now. She was quickly becoming an expert in several forms of material arts and weaponry. She already began working hands-on with dangerous abnormals. Yet Martha had completely overwhelmed her.

Ashley felt a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to have to ask you not to use such language in front my daughter," said Helen, calmly.

"I will do what I want!" yelled Martha.

"You are causing a scene," answered Helen. Her hand was still resting on Ashley's shoulder. "Your brother would not like your behavior."

"Do not mention him! He did not belong to you," Martha was close to tears.

"He belonged to no one," again Helen remained calm.

"That isn't true," Barney mother had joined the group. Silver haired with a hunched back, she slowly walked with the help of a walker. She was a hundred and three years old and remarkably still living relatively on her own at a local nursing home. Barney had believed she was too mean to die. "He was my child."

"And he was a dear friend to me."

"That may be, but no one wants you here now. No one ever wanted you to come here. You showed up all those years ago and changed everything."

"I'm not going to discuss that night now. I was here to honor my friend and colleague. I wanted to give my daughter a chance to say goodbye. I'm sorry that even now you can't forgive him for leaving because it was his chose," said Helen. "It doesn't matter what you say. He did mean something to us. He was part of our family as well as yours. My daughter was there when he collapsed. She called for help. I think of that. My child tried to save your son. We will leave before this becomes an embarrassment."

Martha had drunkenly leaned forward again. Clearly, she intended to say something else. Helen didn't look at her. She looked across the room to where Henry had already got to his feet. He was ready for action. No one else in the room noticed what was happening. She turned and marched from the room. Ashley was right beside her. Henry fell into step behind mother and daughter. The Black family watched them go.

There had been so much more that Helen wanted to say, but not in front of Ashley. She hadn't wanted to give the family, Barney's mother in particular, the satisfaction. She hated what it had done to Ashley. It had made a hard situation even harder. Ashley had hardly said a word.

The plane hit some turbulence. Helen bounced up and down in her seat for a moment and was brought back to the present. Ashley let out a small cry, as she was disturbed from her restless sleep. The plane settled. Henry hadn't moved.

"How much longer?" asked Ashley.

Helen smoothed back Ashley's hair again, "Still a few more hours, I'm afraid. Do you want something to eat?"

Ashley shrugged. Helen didn't know what to do; she didn't know how to act towards her daughter. Helen had been dealing with death for so many years. She had learned a long time ago. Grief was a process that Helen had mastered. She thought back across the decades. How had her father explained it to her when at seventeen Helen lost her mother?

"Nos must amitto vivo en," Helen said quietly.

"What's that mean?" asked Ashley. "It's Latin, right?"

"Very good. Sit up please, I want to talk to you properly," Helen said.

Ashley did, leaning against the window and crossing her legs beneath her.

"I've never told you much your grandmother, have I?"

"No, not really. I know she died when you were young. And her name was Patricia."

Helen smiled at the last detail, "Yes, she was ill for a long time. Medicine was as advanced as it is today. After her funeral, my father and I were alone in the carriage. There wasn't car back then. He said the same phrase to me."

"Nos must amitto vivo en," repeated Ashley.

"Exactly, it means we must let go to live on. It doesn't mean forget," Helen added correctly interpreting Ashley's confused look. "You take this and let it be a part of you. Let it make you stronger. You remember, but you don't let it hold you back."

Ashley looked at her mother for longer moment, "I will try."

"You are so much braver than I was," said Helen and she meant it.

Ashley gave her a small smile. She slid down in her seat and placed her legs across Helen's lap. Helen knew that look. Ashley was deciding the best away to say something. Helen waited and let Ashley come to it on her own.

"Mom, is this what it was like when my father died?"

That was not the question Helen was expecting. They didn't talk about Ashley's father. That could be because Ashley didn't know who her father was. Helen hated to lie to her daughter. She knew it was necessary. Ashley sensed how uncomfortable it made her mother. She rarely brought it up. Besides, they both had to prescribed to the idea of the past being the past.

Ashley believed her father died in a cave collapse in the Amazon. She believed his named had been Roger Sinclair. She believed there was a single picture of him in Helen's office. She didn't know her father was really a notorious serial killer.

Helen cupped Ashley face in her hand, "It was so much worse because I didn't have you. I say this with all seriously: you changed everything. We will deal with death in our work. That is just a fact. But when he died, I didn't think I would even feel better. Then, I held you for the first time, and felt better. I'm not explaining it well. You'll understand someday if you have children of your own."

Helen let go and Ashley once again slumped down in the seat. Helen didn't mention that Ashley's really father had died over a century ago. Or that Helen pulled the trigger. Helen would never forget what she lost that night.

She remembered the cold air and cobbled stones beneath her boots. She felt the heavy weight of the revolver in her hand. She fired the weapon. She watched John disappear. Her heart broke. Next morning, she had confirmed her pregnancy after weeks of suspicion. In sheer panic, she had used her contacts to freeze the embryo. She had returned to her small room to grief, not just lost of the man, but of a family.

"I just miss him," Ashley said.

"Of course you do," answered Helen, "I miss him as well. I'm afraid that will never truly go away. I still miss your father." That was no lie.

"Thanks, Mom, that really helps," said Ashley, sarcastically. She was smiling again. It was small, but enough.

Helen smiled back, "I'm here an I am going through the same grief. Don't forget that."

"I know, Mom."

"Don't forget, I love you. I know I don't say it enough."

"I love you too."

They were both quiet. Ashley stared at the ceiling. Her eyes finally began to close.


	7. Part 7

What can I say beside I'm sorry and it's summer? I know this wait has been incredibly long, and I'm sorry. Lately, when I haven't been busy, I've been lazy. Thank Ashley-Magnus for getting me motivated again. There is also a quote from Shelley's _Frankenstein_, which I take no credit for.

Comments = LOVE.

* * *

Part 7:

The day had been trying; the week had been impossible. Absolutely, nothing had gone Helen's way, or according to plan. She and Ashley had returned from a mission a week ago to find that the Sanctuary had not been well run during their absences. To put it bluntly, the thug Mr. Jones and his so-called Bat Boys had trashed the place.

Like many other abnormals, some the gang had been living at the Sanctuary. They were free to come and go as they pleased. They had taken advantage of the hospitality by storage drugs, stolen goods and other unsavory things in their quarters. Magnus was friends with the chief of police and the Sanctuary was given a great deal of privacy from the authorities.

Terrene Wexford had been left in charge and had just thrown them out without their belongings. They had returned a few days later with an army to retrieve their things and then rioted through the streets of Old City. There was damage done to the facility and no one was hurt seriously hurt, but there was all the aftermath to deal with, which Wexford had drop squarely into Helen's lap as soon as she walk in the door.

She had been gone for two and a half weeks and would have been dreadfully behind in her work no matter what, and Wexford had tripled the amount. He stayed a mere two days to 'help' before returning to New York. The whole crisis had happened while Helen was in remote location, not impossible. She could have been reached had Wexford bothered. He was so set on handling the situation his way.

Helen shoved the pile of paper covering her desk away from her. The motion was more forceful than she intended. The mound nearly knocked over picture of Ashley. She lunged across the desk, half standing, to grab the frame, and returned it to its place.

It was a combination of her exhaustion and Wexford's infuriating nature. She normally did not let him get to her this way. Normally, she did not let _anyone_ get to her this way.

However, Helen and Wexford had never really seen eye to eye. He was good at his job, even Helen had to admit that. He just did it differently than she did.

She took a deep, calming breath. She was not going to get this work done tonight, at least not right now. She stood up, surveyed her office. She went to the kitchen and returned with a good cup of tea. She eased herself onto the sofa in front of the fireplace. She rested her elbow on the chair's arm and her chin in her hand. Some times she just needed to be quiet; to take a real break, even if it was only for five minutes. She watched the fire crackle.

The Sanctuary was quiet. It was late, but not too late. She knew the others were still awake. She wondered vaguely where Ashley was. Helen had hardly seen her daughter in the place past since they returned from the Himalayas. Helen had seen Ashley tonight for about a minute when her daughter got home. She had been in the tunnels under the city and had headed straight for the shower. She was in the Sanctuary and that's all Helen knew.

Ashley was nineteen and after the last few mission, especially the latest, Helen had realized that Ashley was almost grown up. She was still learning, but Ashley was an integral piece of their work that Helen couldn't image doing without. It had quickly become clearly that Ashley had only the smallest interest in the scientific side of Helen's work. She was a Magnus, so she had the skill, but Ashley loved the rush of the capture, using her body and her mind in conjunction.

Helen had given her daughter complete rein during this last mission. Ashley had planned and executed every aspect. Helen had been a simple participant, or gentle reminder.

A Megascops Himalaus Otusingens, or the Himalayan Screech Owl, had descended from its hunting ground in the peak of the mountains and was terrorizing the villages in the valley. These owls were enormous birds with a wingspan that could reach up to fifteen-feet wide, powerful talons, and a bone-crushing break. However, what made the species remarkable was their screech. The birds were able to focus sound waves powerful enough to stun their prey.

The particular specimen had been something of a runt. It had an injured eye and missing feathers, but it had still been strong enough to carry away goats and kill a man. The mission had been to capture the owl and bring it to the Sanctuary in New Delhi for rehabilitation.

Ashley had planned the flights, organized the men and supplies, and led the chase. Ashley was a good leader, even though Helen had been able to tell how nervous she had been. The mission had gone off with only the expected amount of problems, and the owl was now settling into its habitat in New Delhi.

Ashley was done with school. She was done with sleeping in her mother's bed after a nightmare. She was done with naptimes and midnight bottle feedings. She no longer needed her mother's protection. They watched each other's backs, as equals. Helen would always have more experience, but she still found herself asking Ashley for help solving problems. Ashley wasn't a little girl anymore. And she hadn't been for a very long time. What stuck Helen was how quickly it had happened. Ashley had been a toddler, then Helen turned around and her daughter was suddenly a young woman.

Helen swirled the dregs of her tea in the cup. Maybe she should try to get more work done. She got heavily to her feet. She stoked the fire and added a log. She moved to her desk. Instead of sitting in her high-backed, leather chair, she gathered an armload of patient files and settled back on the sofa.

She had barely finished reviewing the second file, when there was a soft knock on the office door. Helen looked up to see Ashley leaning half in the doorway. She was wearing yoga pants, an old t-shirt, and her blond hair pulled back on a loose braid. She carried a book under her arm.

"Mom? Am I interrupting?" she asked.

Helen noted her slightly cautious tone. She sighed silently. She unnecessarily snapped at Ashley earlier for disturbing a phone call with Wexford. She had not meant it, of course. She had been angry with Wexford, not her daughter.

"There is always time for you, darling, despite what I said earlier," Helen said with a broad smile.

Ashley was reassured. She crossed to sofa and slid onto the empty half of the loveseat She tucked her knees underneath her and leaned her cheek against her mother's shoulder. Helen kissed the top of her head. Ashley's hair was still damp from her shower.

"Whatcha looking at?" said Ashley, reading over Helen's shoulder.

"I'm reviewing files of patients who have been in the network for a while. I'm making sure all their needs are being met. This is for a fire elemental in London," answered Helen.

"Very exciting," Ashley said, still scanning the file.

"It is more exciting than what I was working on: bills and apology letters."

Ashley made a face that echoed Helen's feelings.

"My thoughts exactly," said Helen with a laugh. "How did the hunting go tonight?"

Ashley made another face, "It was disgusting down there and we lost the trail after about an hour. We spent another three hours trying to find it again."

"Bad intelligence?" said Helen.

"No, there is definitely something giant and snake-like down in the tunnels. We just couldn't find it."

"Did Sylvio end up joining you?"

"Yeah, he caught up with the Big Guy and me, but after we lost the trial, so he didn't stay long."

"I see."

They were both quiet for a while. Helen was still pretending to read the file in her hands. 'Ashley was not a little girl anymore,' she repeated to herself. The idea made her feel slightly sad, and there was an ache for the feel of a small, chubby baby hand in her own. However, at the same time in filled her with joy and pride. Ashley was beautiful, graceful, and intelligent young woman. Her future was bright. Helen was excited to see where her path led.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Things have been so crazy around here, we haven't had a chance to talk since we got back. I've bee meaning to tell you what an amazing job you did during the Himalayan mission," said Helen.

Ashley shifted so she could see Helen's face better. "Really?" asked Ashley. She was suddenly unsure, almost shy.

"Of course. You know I would not say so unless I truly meant it," said Helen.

"That means a lot."

"The only real problem we had was coordinating the flights to New Delhi with the abnormal crate. That section could have been better organized so the creature didn't have to spend so much time sedated. Those sort of logistical issues get easier with practice."

"That's good to know that I'll get a 'next time,'" said Ashley.

"Of course," Helen kissed the top of Ashley's head again, "I say this without the partiality of a mother: that was one of the most successful first mission run by one of my protégés."

"Honestly?"

"Of course," answered Helen. Of course, there were some biases. Helen was a mother, so she couldn't really help it.

Again, they fell into the comfortable silence. Neither feeling the need to move, or even speak. However, Ashley now had an unmistakable grin on her face. Ashley watched the fire; Helen continued to flip through the patient files. Half way through the pile, she gave up. She just wasn't in the mood to concentrate. Eventually, she notice the book tucked under Ashley's arm. Her hand covered the spine.

"What book is that?" asked Helen after another long pause.

Ashley scoffed at herself as she handed the book to Helen. "_Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus_ by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley," Helen read from the cover. "I know read it about ten times," said Ashley, preempting her mother's question. "There is nothing wrong with returning to a favorite book," said Helen as she flipped through the pages. The book was worn. Corners has been dog-eared and unfolded. There were a few stained pages and marks in the margins. It was clearly well loved. "Read to me," said Ashley, half laughing, "Like you used to when I was little." "Did I ever read this one to you?" asked Helen, still flipping the pages. "Yeah, when I was about seven or eight. We had a movie marathon after we finished," said Ashley. Helen laughed softly, "And you walked around the house like the monster in the film for weeks afterward."

Ashley laughed too, "I forgot about that."

Ashley watched as Helen found the bookmark. Ashley had always loved listening to her mother read aloud. Her accent was so perfect for the words of classic literature.

Helen cleared her throat and began at the top of the page, "No one can conceive the variety of feelings which bore me onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success. Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark world. A new species would bless me as its creator and source…"


	8. Part 8

Author's Note: As always, sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoy the next part. Comments = love.

* * *

Part 8:

"Then who was Roger Sinclair?" asked Ashley. She was not looking at her mother, but staring intently at a folk on the table in front of her.

Helen sighed sadly. She sat with Ashley under the awning of a café. The front of the restaurant was opened to the Roman street, and their table was right on the sidewalk. The bells of a nearby church struck eight times. Mopeds and cars filled the street. A couple holding hands strolled by their table. A fiery sunset turned the whole scene orange. It looked like a postcard.

Helen was really in the mood to appreciate the picturesque setting. It had been two days since Ashley had learned who her father truly was. She had not mentioned it once since Druitt had disappeared. In fact, she had hardly said anything.

Helen loved Italy and especially Rome. Over the past two days and in between her lectures and conference calls with Will, she had shown Ashley the most beautiful, most spectacular places in the city. Ashley had paid the appropriate amount of attention without saying much. Helen had not pushed her daughter. She had been waiting with all her patience for Ashley to bring up the subject herself.

And now that she had, Helen was suddenly terrified. 'Am I losing my daughter?' Helen actually shook her head to clear that thought from her mind.

Before answering, she reached across the table and squeezed Ashley's hand. Ashley didn't pull away. Helen found a small comfort in that.

"He was a very close friend and colleague," Helen finally said.

"I thought maybe you made him up," said Ashley. There was no malice in her voice; she had simply stated a fact.

"Of course not, you've seen the pictures."

"Yeah, well—" Ashley didn't finish her thought.

"He was a wonderful man. He was one of my closest friends. We worked together for many years. He died exactly the way I have told you. There was a collapse in cave in—"

"In the Amazon. I know."

"His death was the final straw, if you will. The rate at which I age is both a blessing and a curse," she sighed deeply, "With Roger gone, I could not take the loneliness any longer. By the time you were born, I believe John Druitt had died long ago. Why would I want to burden you with the knowledge that not only was your father a murderer, but the actual Jack the Ripper?"

Ashley didn't say anything, just continued to stare across the street.

Ashley was so calm. She was showing little emotion or even anger. Helen would almost have preferred that. She felt like she was trying to hold water in a cupped hand. If she moved the wrong way or said the wrong thing, Ashley might just pull away altogether. It was a situation Helen had never anticipated. Since Ashley's birth the idea of her death had haunted Helen's thoughts. She had never prepared for her daughter to make a conscious choice to distance herself.

The waiter brought their food and both ate quietly. They talked a little about the church in the piazza around the corner. They had finished their meals and the waiter had brought them both coffees when they returned to the topic on both their minds.

"That was never my intention to keep anything from you," said Helen.

"Of course it was," Ashley said, "Mom, I'm tried of the secrets. I feel like you never give me a straight answer about anything. You never wanted to talk about my father and I've always thought it was because it was too painful, but you were just keeping things from me."

"I know." Again, it took Helen a long time to answer. "I just wanted to protect you."

"I could have handled it," Ashley said. "I'm so much more capable than you think I am."

"Oh, Ashley, darling, that is just not true." Helen tried to take Ashley's hand again, but this time her daughter removed it from the table. She didn't know what to say, so she settled for, "I love you more than you know."

"I've never doubted that. Not for a second," Ashley responded quickly. She was finally looking at her mother.

"I also know how incredibly capable you are. I have seen you work. From the time you could talk you were brave, smart, independent. I rely on you as a partner in our work. But, Ashley, you are still the child. As the parent, it is my decision how much you know a situation."

"Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm twenty-three."

"But, you are still _my _child," Helen said. "You were three or four when you first asked me about your father. I showed you the picture of Roger and you were satisfied. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to tell you. I just could find the words."

"That's rare," Ashley said.

Helen smiled slightly. It was good to hear Ashley crack a joke.

"I tried not to keep too much from you. I tried to tell you as much as I could. You father, John Druitt, was a good and loving man before his madness took hold. He would have been a good father. At least, that is what I thought when I first discovered I was pregnant."

Ashley was listening intently. Helen had never been so open about her history with John before.

Helen continued, "I had already noticed small changes in his behavior, but he hid it well. I went straight to his flat once I was sure of my condition. I hadn't been there in months. He wouldn't let me. He wasn't home and I found—" she stopped to take a deep breath, "I found evidence. I knew. I had no doubts and my world nearly ended. That man is dangerous. He is more dangerous than anything we have in the S.H.U."

Ashley had also never seen her mother scared like this before. Her mother was always stronger, smarter, tougher than anything they had ever faced. Druitt, her father, held a power over Helen like nothing else.

"You mean so much to me, my darling. He took my future from me once. He was someone from my past. There was no reason to bring up those memories. When he did returned and nearly took you from me. How could I tell you that man was your true father?"

Ashley had no answer. She unconsciously ran her fingers along the thin, barely-visible scars that cut across neck and down to her chest.

Hours later when even most of Rome was quiet, Helen slid out of bed and pulled her robe over her shoulders. She didn't turn the lights on. They had a large suite, but the beds were in the same room. Helen had waited a long time for Ashley to finally stop tossing and turning before accepting the fact that she was not going to get any sleep.

She made her way out to the balcony that over looked the courtyard and the pool. Ornate sconces lining the walls lighted the pool, and the water was completely still. It was the opposite of how Helen was feeling. She settled on a chair and tucked her feet underneath her.

John Druitt was back in her life. He had now survived her two attempts to end his life. And again, he was on the verge of ruining everything. She was scared. She was finally able to admit it to herself here in the dark with Ashley asleep in the next room. Ashley said he was different, but she didn't quite believe her daughter. She had seen what he had done; the violence his madness brought with it too many times.

She had been to his dark flat. The place had been a place of memories, of laughter and John's soft touch. It had been wretched and smelled stale. Light from outside in the street didn't seem to penetrate the darkness. What she had found in those jars in his bedroom was something she had never forgotten and never would as long as she lived. She had come to find John to tell him the most wonderful news and instead had discovered the man she deeply loved was truly a monster.

Helen closed her eyes. She listened to her own breathing. She tried to clear her mind. She should return to bed. They were flying home tomorrow. She would return to her normal schedule; well, as normal as it ever was. She and Ashley would act as if nothing had changed. Nobody would notice that something _had_ changed. Was it for the better? Helen had one less secret to keep from her daughter. She had been afraid of this moment for so long. And now it had passed.

Helen heard a noise in the bedroom. She didn't even have a chance to stand up when she heard Ashley call.

"Mom?" there was a slight edge to her voice. "Mom?"

"I'm out here," Helen answered just loud enough for Ashley to hear her without disturbing the neighbors.

Ashley stepped out onto the balcony.

"Are you all right?" asked Helen quickly.

"Of course. I just woke up and you weren't there," said Ashley.

"I'm never far away," said Helen.

Ashley looked sharply at her mother for a moment. Helen gazed back.

"It's nice out here," Ashley said at last.

Helen made a sound of agreement, "Are you sure you are all right?"

"I'm getting there, Mom. I just had a weird dream, okay? I was half awake and realized you weren't in your bed. Everything is peachy. I'm going back to sleep."

She disappeared from the doorway.

"I love you," said Helen.

"I love you too," answered Ashley from the darkness of the hotel room.

Helen hadn't been sure if Ashley would be able to hear her. She settled back against her chair. Ashley was right. Everything was going to be all right. It would take time, but that's all she had.


	9. Part 9

A/N: Here's the final part, folks. I hope this story was worth all the waiting I put you through. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think.

Part 9:

Helen opened her eyes very slowly. She looked at the sloping ceiling of the attic bedroom. She was laying on her back on the bed with her legs hanging over the edge. She didn't remember falling asleep. Her body was heavy; her soul was heavy.

It was late and the sun was just beginning to sink behind the buildings of Old City. The warming rays cut across the room through the windows that lined an entire wall. The room was in its usual state of partly clean, partly messy. The bed was made, but clothes slipped out of the closet. The dresser was littered with make-up, lotion, a hairbrush and things that Helen couldn't even identify.

Helen's practical side wondered whether she should do the laundry or not. Her instinct was to just leave everything exactly where it was. Ashley hated it when Helen picked up after her. It wasn't Ashley's room anymore. Helen closed her eyes again.

There were voices outside the door. Helen realized they were what caused her to wake. She didn't stir. She didn't have the will power. She couldn't face anyone right now.

Through the door, she heard Henry's voice, "How is she?"

The Big Guy grunted.

"Do you think I could ask her a question? She might like the distraction."

There was the sound of a smack. "I told you to leave her alone," said Big Guy, gruffly.

"I know, but I—" came Henry's voice.

The Big Guy interrupted, "Find Will."

"But—"

"Find Will."

There was a silence at last. She knew the Big Guy was still standing guard. For once, it was not a comfort. Nothing would make this feel better. She finally sat up. The sunlight caught on a row of picture frames lining a bookshelf. She got heavily to her feet. She paused and ran a hand over the comforter to smooth the wrinkles, erasing her presence.

She stepped closer to the bookshelf. She examined each picture carefully. Ashley with friends so young she was wearing a school uniform. There was Ashley with Mrs. Lawny, with James Watson. Ashley was standing in front of a mosaic in Morocco from another trip two years ago. Helen lifted the final picture from the back of the shelf. She studied the faces.

Helen was sitting in the sunshine on the sweeping lawns surrounding the London Sanctuary. Ashley was two, maybe three; she was nestled in Helen's arms. They were both laughing. Helen ran a finger over the image of her child's face. She couldn't remember who had taken the photograph or why.

She needed to know. It was suddenly very important. She flipped the silver frame over. There might be some note on the back of the photo. She attempted to take pull off the back of the frame. It was stuck. Helen pulled harder.

The frame came unstuck unexpectedly. It slipped from her grasp. The glass shattered on the hard wood floor. Helen closed her eyes for a moment. She took a deep, steadying breath. The tears threaten again. She left the shards on the floor. She took a few paces to the window. She placed a hand briefly on the cool glass and watched the hand print fade when she removed it. It had snowed yesterday and the white piles lined the streets and covered the tops of building.

The lights of Old City burned across the river. She stared without really seeing. A car turned down the street that passed in front of the Sanctuary. She saw if from the corner of her eye and for a moment, just the smallest of moments, she believed it was Ashley's motorcycle.

She turned from the window. Some things just couldn't be. Her heart broke all over again. She looked over the room again, just as Ashley had left it. Helen could still see, could still feel, her daughter's impact. But, Ashley was gone. Her sweet child, her brave daughter was gone.

A mother should not out live her child. Helen always known it was somehow a possibility. Helen had not aged in over a hundred and the years yet she watched Ashley grow up. Her daughter aged at the rate of a normal healthy, happy child. She had known Ashley could grow older then her mother. Helen thought she might loss her daughter to old age. They're work was dangerous. Injury, death, it was also a possibility. But Ashley had been stolen. That had never crossed her mind in all Helen's sleepless nights.

Today, Ashley's birthday, Helen normally remembered labor pains. She remembered the little apartment in the London Sanctuary struggling with the hardest thing she had ever done in her long time. Mrs. Lawny had been the only one there to help her, but it had really been just Helen and her body. Then Ashley was there. It was through pain that her world turned from loneliness into joy. Mother and daughter had never been apart for either of their birthdays since Ashley's first. And here Helen was on the fifteenth of December, alone. Ashley was gone now, leaving a larger hole in Helen's soul then had ever been there before.

Helen found herself kneeling by the broken picture frame. She gingerly pulled the photo from the fragments. She perched again on the edge of the bed and clutched the image to her chest. She allowed the grief to overtake her. She buried her face in one hand and with the other held the photo so tightly against her body it hurt. She had said goodbye, but never allowed herself to feel the absence. Despite all her instincts, she knew she would never see her daughter again.

Ashley had occupied so little of Helen's lifetime. But from the moment, Helen had felt her child moving in her belly, she could not imagine how she had possibly lived without her. Helen now had to face to world alone all over again. She wasn't sure if she was up to the task this time. She wept for the emptiness in her own soul, but mostly she wept for the pain she had caused her daughter.

It was entirely Helen's fault. The Cabal had used Ashley as a weapon against the Sanctuary network. Helen had been the target. If she had been a normal woman, a normal mother, Ashley would never have been in danger. For the first time in her life, Helen wished she were normal.

Helen shook her head; she tried to steady her breathing again. Such ridiculous thoughts. She didn't know how to deal with her own chaotic mind. Every moment reminded her of Ashley, something from the past. She knew how to deal with death. Normal humans lives passed before her eyes. None of her experience had prepared her for this death. Nos most amitto vivo en. Those words had always given her strength, like a badge. Now, they were empty.

She gave the outward appearance of the normal, resigned Helen, but she had never been more lost. She thought she was beginning to rebuild, but today had loomed over her consciousness.

Helen eased herself onto Ashley's pillow. She inhaled deeply. It was all she had left. Helen would survive. She had no other choice. She would carry on loving her daughter until the end of time. She would let Ashley's memory walk beside her. Nothing would ever come close to replacing her, but there others that needed her. That was the thought she needed to hold onto. The wave ebbed.

She knew her eyes were red; her cheeks were swollen. She was exhausted, body and soul. She found her feet and again smoothed the wrinkles from the bed. She would need to clean up the picture frame. The room needed to remain exactly the same.

She bent again to clean up the broken glass. Her hands were still shaky and the largest piece sliced across her palm of her hand. She let out only a small cry. She quickly pulled her handkerchief from her pocket to stem the bleeding. She stayed calm; she could spend no more energy today.

The sun had completely set and the room was completely dark. Helen hesitated before leaving. She remained in the still and the quiet for just a little bit longer.

"Happy birthday, my darling," Helen said to the darkness, "It was worth every second."

She used her uninjured hand to push open the door. The brightly lit hallway blinded her for a moment. The passage was empty, but the Big Guy appeared before she had turned the corner. He said nothing.

"There is broken glass on the floor by the book shelf. Would you please clean it up for me?" said Helen.

He grunted and nodded. He saw the handkerchief and the photograph, but make no comment.

"Thank you." She began to walk away, then turned back, "What was it that Henry wanted?"

"Will solved the problem," he said.

She got onto the elevator and leaned against the wall as it descended. Will. Helen was once again thankful he had not gone to Reykjavik. She had not seen him all day; she had not really seen anyone all day. She knew he was there. She couldn't handle his questions, but she was infinitely grateful that he was there to ask. Like the Big Guy, he was standing guard just from a greater distance.

The elevator opened onto the lab. All was quiet, well no more clamorous than usual. She turned towards the medical unit. As she crossed the main lab, she felt a gentle touch in her mind from the mermaid tank, but Sally did not appear. It was just enough.

The medical unit was dark with no patients to care for. She flipped on a light beside one of the hospital beds. It illuminated just the corner of the room with the cabinet of medical supplies. She took what she needed from the cabinet and turned back towards the light source.

She pulled back the handkerchief. The bleeding had stopped. The wound was not deep. A few butterfly stitches, a clean bandage and a few days and she would be find. The worst part was the cut was on her dominant hand. She struggled with a packaging of the sterile gauze when Kate entered the room.

"Who's in here? Oh, it's you," she said.

"It's me," answered Helen.

"I thought it was Two-Face or someone making a mess," she said with a smile.

Kate looked down and noticed what exactly Helen was doing, "Do you need help?"

Helen almost said no; her want to be alone was that strong. It was foolish to refuse.

"Yes, thank you. This is difficult with one hand," said Helen.

"What happened?" asked Kate as she took the gauze from Helen.

"Broken glass," Helen said simply.

Kate was still somewhat of an outsider. She had quickly found a place at the Sanctuary; she was part of the team. Helen trusted her to complete a mission, but there had not been enough time for a deeper relationship. She had confidence in Kate's skills, knowledge and contacts, but they had not spent much time one-on-one apart from mission preparations. They were both private people. Helen was glad for the half-light.

"So, is it just me or is everyone acting weird today?" asked Kate.

Helen knew Kate was just trying to make conversation; she had no idea emotional mess she had accidently wandered into. It was comforting somehow, like a news report making a joke minutes after a horrifying story.

Helen took a deep breath. She had no reason to lie to Kate. "Today would be my daughter's birthday, so, I suppose, everyone is acting a bit odd."

"Jesus, Magnus, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I didn't mean to—" said Kate.

"No apology necessary. You had no way of knowing," Helen said.

"Are you doing alright?" came the question Helen had been waiting for.

"I suppose."

Kate didn't saying anything else. She placed the butterfly stitches across the wound. She reached for the bandage tape and noticed the photograph where Helen had left it. She picked it up. Helen's breath caught in her chest.

"She was a cutie," she said. A look of regret crossed her face.

"She was. I believe you two would have got along very well," said Helen. She found it was easier talking about Ashley with people who hadn't known her.

They were both silent for a while; Kate studied the picture. She handed it back to Helen. "Keep that hand dry. Come find me tomorrow and I'll change the bandage for you," said Kate with mock authority.

"Thank you, Doctor Freelander," Helen answered, relishing the lighter mood.

Kate gave a little salute with two fingers and left the room.

Life goes on. There were not only people who relied on Helen, but also people she could rely on in turn. Ashley was her flesh and blood, but that did not make her much more family than any of the residents of the Sanctuary. Ashley's death would never fully heal in her soul, but Helen found she would be able to move forward.

Will appeared in the doorway, "Magnus, we've got a problem."

Helen gathered her thoughts. She would always be needed as long as there were abnormals. She still had a purpose and did as much to comfort her as anything else.

"Yes, Will?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, but we just got a report of a snake-like creature in the subway system. The police are hunting it."

Helen laughed, "We have been trying to catch that creature for years. Another sighting is good news. Meet me at the van in ten minutes."

"Are you sure you're up for this?" he carefully asked.

"Yes, thank you for asking," said Helen.

She stepped past him and hurried towards her office. Life goes on.


End file.
